One More Mom Supporting Same-Sex Marriage

Nobody is asking for your permission, GOP and opponents of same-sex marriage. Gay people are gay. They were, in fact, born that way. I don’t care what God you believe in; if you preach hate, you are completely in the wrong. It seems to me that for a group of people who professes to be persecuted, to then persecute others is the ultimate oxymoron.

You’re keeping people who love each other apart. It is that simple.

Exactly how is that upholding anything resembling your so-called “family values”? If any members of your family disagree with you or are different from you, one should shun, abandon and hate them?

As a mother, I can tell you that when I held my child for the first time, all I could think was, “What a beautiful little baby.” The love I felt was overwhelming, and complete. All I want for her is joy, happiness, and as much love as she can fit in her life. I want her to be herself, because that is what she’s supposed to be. There aren’t words for me to express how I absolutely do not care one whit if she is gay.

The people you are hurting are our babies.
Teaching children to hate each other is wrong. Period.

It is this kind of mentality that makes children attempt to end their own lives. Sadly, sometimes they succeed. I will always fight you tooth and nail, and with everything I have to make this insanity stop. You will not hurt these children on my watch. You. Will. Not.

GOP, you are the party of hate, of dogma, of dehumanizing, of bullying, and of arrogance. I don’t care what your party used to stand for. This is what you stand for right now, and I will not be part of it. I never have been, but this is the limit. I am sick to death of people assuming I agree with this nonsense because I am a Mom, and I am furious that you claim to be doing what you’re doing in the name of “the children”. To you everyone is collateral damage. You do not in any way represent anything I believe, and you have no claim whatsoever on my child.

I am a middle-aged, Caucasian, married woman with a kid. I’m a so-called “soccer mom” who drives a minivan, does the laundry, and takes care of my family.

You do not have the authority by any means to tell other people how they are or are not allowed to take care of their family. Not by The US Constitution, not by your religious texts, and certainly not by your own self-entitlement.

You are not expected to attend the weddings. Most of you with your lousy fashion sense and completely absent sense of humor should refrain from most social gatherings anyway. You are not expected to send wedding gifts. You are not expected to pick up the bill, sign the marriage license, or really, do anything in a direct way.

The only thing you need to do is nothing. Just stop ramming your religion down other people’s throats. Stop bullying, menacing, and threatening gay people. Stop bullying, menacing and threatening any people, for that matter. Stop teaching hate. Stopping requires almost no energy or effort on your part. You can go golfing instead.

Writers Aren’t DJs

I love writing, books, and other writers. Which is why I’m going to make a plea to non-writers who do this kind of thing– please stop. You’re driving us nuts.

Writers aren’t DJs. We don’t take requests. If you have an idea, please feel free to write to your heart’s content. Pretty please with sugar on top don’t make suggestions. The biggest problem most writers face is a lack of time, or looming deadlines–not a shortage of ideas.

I recently went to a book signing, and was stunned when people marched up to the microphone to ask questions, and made writing suggestions to this very successful (for many long years) author. Lucky for the querents (Yes! More than one person did it!), this particular author handled it gracefully, and they got to keep their heads. Not all writers have that skill, because many writers are holed up typing away, nowhere near people. There’s usually a good reason for that. The annoyed murmuring around me informed me that I was not the only person shocked by the rudeness, and flat-out disrespect of an author everyone in the room admired, paid to get their new book, and listen to.

I don’t think a writer in that position should be rude when confronted with rudeness, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they got just a little irked. Like the interview I saw with JK Rowling who was talking about how, as the “Harry Potter” series got darker, she received loads of e-mail telling her what to do. One woman walked up to her on the street (or was it at a book signing?) and gave her instructions! Unless it’s a choose your own adventure style book, people have got to be respectful to writers, and allow them to do what they do. It doesn’t matter if they’re a bestseller, or the bottom of the food chain in writing world. This kind of disrespect breeds a critical environment that stymies creativity, and that doesn’t do anyone a bit of good.

Also, if you’re looking for a good DJ who does take requests? Check out Slicing Up Eyeballs on strangewaysradio.com 10pm EST every Tuesday. See? Problem solved!

About Work Life Balance

This article from CNN deals with something that I have been saying for years, and am currently writing about: Technology workers and work/life balance. http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/16/opinion/stone-leave-work-day/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

Firstly, I am delighted to see someone at the top, in a major technology company doing what she can to change the long-standing trend of all work, no life. Three cheers for Sheryl Sandberg!

Programmers, systems administrators, customer service and support, QA, development, hardware, messaging, software development- the list goes on and on. These are some of the people who build and maintain company websites, and who are the liasons between the company and the consumer. They are the bread and butter of every business on the planet who does any significant amount of e-commerce.

So why are they treated like machines instead of people? Why do so many companies work their best and brightest until they are burned out, suffering health issues, and divorced?

Short-sightedness and greed.

It isn’t just women getting screwed by the idea of 70+ hour work weeks. It’s men too. There are men who don’t hold their wives and families hostage to their job, and who want to be there for their children. A manager at my husband’s former employer actually said, “Well, I don’t know what your situation is, but my wife takes care of everything for me.” That is what was expected and demanded of our family, and of all the families. The bar was set that my husband worked an insane number of hours, was invisible to his family, and the entire weight of every other part of our lives fell to me. No one should be forced to be a single parent because of their spouse’s job. Have a doctor appointment? He was threatened with termination. Being the equivalent of a fascist regime with all of your employees quaking in fear is an incredibly lousy way to run a business. Why are so many companies doing it? Because in tough economic times, they think they can, and they take advantage of the atmosphere of fear.

I’m reading all the criticism of Ms. Sandberg, and it just blows my circuits! When is the archaic idea that only women are parents, and men have no parental responsibility going to go the way of the Edsel? I know, probably about the same time that certain members of government stop saying that women demanding equal pay is a nuisance. Heaven forbid people be treated equally, regardless of gender. To start with. Then we wander into a whole new conversation for another time, so I’ll just say-

What I think is so interesting is that many of the people with the attitude that “business is the end all be all and everyone should just suck it up” so they get their obscene corporate bonus are the very same people who vote Republican because of so-called “family values”. Exactly what do they think they are doing to families when nobody has time to be with each other, or their children? Business as usual, and keeping to their bottom line even if it means hypocrisy to the nth degree.

Heads up all you greedy, soulless giant entities who have been shredding families for over a decade- a new day is dawning, and all of your talent is eventually going to pick up and go elsewhere. Good luck with the duct tape and hamsters to keep things going when all the really smart, educated, and talented people you’ve been grinding into a powder take off to greener, more productive, more balanced pastures.

Thanks, Martha Beck!

Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life, No Matter What! by Martha N. Beck
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Another fabulous book by Martha Beck. Through each stage in life, sometimes you have to correct to get back on course, and this one along with “Finding Your Own North Star” are wonderful books to remind you of yourself, what you really think, and where you really want to go. These books help one to hear oneself over the din of other people’s opinions of who and what they want you to do and be. Thanks Martha!

View all my reviews

Favorite advice

One of my favorite quotes from Kurt Vonnegut:

“Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.”

Sage advice from one of the masters.

Now on Amazon

Ho ho ho! “Nothing in Particular” is now available through Kindle for 99 cents.

Nothing in Particular (Kiera Graves)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

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